Once In a Lifetime

Upon learning of my pregnancy I was instantly transformed from a working girl to working girl contemplating being a stay at home mom. For me, this didn’t take much thought. I always knew that raising my own children was very important to me, and my husband and I were determined to find a way to do it. Let me begin by saying that it has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. There have been struggles; these struggles being no harder than anything I ever came upon in my career, just different. At this point there is no one that can convince me there is anything better than being there for my child in every milestone moment of her first year (and years to come). After all, these milestones only come once in a lifetime.

I know that this isn’t an option for everyone, although it is hard for me to believe it is not an option for most. I do understand the financial needs all of the hardworking single Moms out there, and I am sympathetic to their situations. I also have met many single Moms through blogging who have been able to work from home to support their families.

With exceptions, it is very possible to be a stay at home Mom. I am looking at this topic from a financial stand point. For those who are struggling with, “could I actually leave my career to be a stay at home mom,” don’t think of it as leaving your career forever. You can always return to your career and will have many years to achieve those goals.

I dare say that the world we are living in has blinded us into thinking that a family living on one salary is just not possible. What is actually impossible is living beyond your means. If you have $100 to spend then you will spend $100. If you only have $10 to spend, guess how much you will spend? That’s right, $10.

We have also grown accustomed to tracking our finances virtually. Does it frighten anyone else to think of how our money is slowly becoming nothing more than virtual transactions? This makes it harder and harder to create and follow a real budget.

By budget I am not talking about sitting down and guessing what you think you make and what you think you should be spending on groceries. Actually creating a budget takes some brainstorming. You need to look at your finances over the span of a year. Think of all the possible things you spend your money on and write it all down. Often we forget about payments that occur annually or biannually like home insurance, auto insurance and ad valorem taxes. Thanks to all those virtual transactions, this part is actually easier than you think. With nearly all banks, credit card companies and utility companies keeping track of your accounts online it is very easy to get yearly reports of your spending habits.

If you are just starting out on your journey into motherhood, then in next 9 months you will take the time to read every pregnancy book you can find, make every doctor’s appointment, take every breastfeeding and labor class you can find and eat healthier than you ever have to ensure a healthy baby. Take the next few steps now to ensure that you can be the person to teach, influence and be the center of that baby’s life beyond 6 weeks old. If your bundle is here, then it is not too late to re-evaluate where you are now.

1. Sit down and create your current budget

2. Create a sample budget for the working mother who will send her child to daycare

• You will need to include additional work-related expenses, such as clothing, dry cleaning, commuting costs, unreimbursed work expenses, lunch and snacks. There is also often an increase in lifestyle expenses when there are two household incomes. There is a chance of spending more on things like dining out and housecleaning.
• You may also account for formula. The working mother is much less likely to continue to pump and breastfeed than the stay at home mom, and formula is a very large expense.

3. Create a sample budget for the stay at home mother

4. Compare

How much more money will you really be bringing home? Can you adjust your budget now to account for the difference? Try living on the new budget over the next few months. You can even get a head start and put your paycheck straight into a savings account, or strictly use it for the initial baby items you will need for your nursery. These will be onetime expenses that you will not need to account for after baby comes.

In the end it usually comes down to “things.” Are you willing to let material things come between you and your goal of staying at home with your child? As I stated before, there are always exceptions, but let’s not call excuses exceptions. There is no excuse for not running the numbers and creating a real budget that you can look at and understand. There is no reason that you can’t return to your career when kindergarten beckons. Let your defenses down, ignore peer pressure, figure it out for yourself and do what is the best thing for your child.

Interested in learning more? Sign up for my RSS feed and learn more about the possibilities for a Stay at Home Mom over the next couple of weeks. Get help with creating your budget, learn the actual costs of childcare, ways to save money on baby essentials, opportunities for stay at home moms and read inspiring stories from friends who have already been on this journey.